Chris Jacobs with the Senate Republican Policy Committee has a lighthearted take on the left’s recent attempts to salvage Obamacare from its non-partisan, nationwide unpopularity.
Earlier this week came word that an organization out in Colorado is seeking to reclaim the “Obamacare” name by running a new “Thanks Obamacare” ad campaign to build support for the law. In recognition of the new campaign, and the fact that Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away, we present some suggestions to the “Thanks Obamacare” ad campaign for commercials they might want to run about the law:
“I’m a small business owner, and complying with government regulation is my number one concern. But I was happy to learn that Obamacare has already resulted in 10,000 pages of new federal regulations and notices. After all, my lawyer is woefully underpaid, and now I’ll have to pay him thousands to comply with all of these new Washington mandates. Sure, I won’t be able to hire more workers, but now my lawyer will have enough cash to buy that new Ferrari he’s always wanted. Thanks, Obamacare!”
“I nearly got the job – the firm’s owner was really impressed with my talent. Then he found out that under Obamacare, if he hired more than 50 workers, he could face tens of thousands of dollars in new penalties. So my search for work continues. But there are lots of other opportunities out there to find work – after all, ‘private sector jobs are doing just fine.’ Thanks, Obamacare!”
“I was just your average accountant, struggling to make ends meet. But then along came Obamacare, with its 42 new tax law changes, and suddenly my business exploded. Firms and individuals alike need my help to navigate the IRS bureaucracy and find out how much they will pay in higher taxes. My income is soaring so fast, I barely have time to calculate all the higher taxes I’m going to pay myself. Thanks, Obamacare!”
“I know candidate Obama promised he would lower premiums by $2,500 per family, but that Obamacare actually raises individual market insurance premiums by $2,100 per family instead. But I would much rather give that extra $4,600 per year to an insurance company than use it to pay my mortgage. Thanks, Obamacare!”
“The Congressional Budget Office said that Obamacare would ‘discourage work’ – and boy, were they right! I took Speaker Pelosi’s advice to ‘leave your work’ and ‘be creative and be a musician or whatever,’ knowing I would have taxpayer-funded health care. I quit my job and joined a band, and in my spare time, I’m working to compete in the Air Guitar Championships next year. And just think – without this new law, I would be working at a normal job instead. Thanks, Obamacare!”
“Thanks to the Administration’s successful ‘stimulus’ policies, I had some money put aside to buy a car – you know, ‘cash for clunkers.’ But instead, Obamacare will force me to buy Washington-mandated insurance policies that could be more expensive than a new car. This Administration’s fiscal policies prove that Washington is WAY more responsible than I am when it comes to telling me how to spend my own money and run my life. So I hope mandates from federal bureaucrats ordering me to buy a house and eat some vegetables are next. Thanks, Obamacare!”
“As a governor, I know politics is about tough choices – but Obamacare made balancing the budget easy. At a time when states face budget deficits totaling a collective $175 billion, Obamacare imposed new unfunded mandates of at least $118 billion. So I decided to balance the budget the only way I could – our state is closing all our prisons, and releasing criminals early on the ‘honor system.’ After all, if the prisoners say they’re sorry, what could go wrong? Thanks, Obamacare!”
So remember, the next time you see stories about skyrocketing premiums or firms laying off workers, just think: “Thanks, Obamacare!”
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